SwankxTAR

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When it comes to traveling, we put a lot of thought into where we go, how we’ll get there and what to budget for, but we very often overlook or underestimate an important aspect of our trip: who we go with.  

I’ve traveled solo a few times and I love it. As an extroverted introvert, I thrive on alone time and need it to recharge. Traveling alone gives me the autonomy to go where I please, eat when and what I’d like and truly enjoy the time passing without concern for much. Having the freedom to wander in a museum for hours, pausing intrigued for 15 minutes or so to take in a particular work of art with no one nudging you forward is, for me, a small joy. Nevertheless, I have to admit, I do catch myself in the midst of it all thinking, wow, xyz would really have loved this or so and so would appreciate this too. 

Traveling is a special experience and sometimes sharing the memories do make them even more meaningful. As I write this I can recall one night in particular in Paris at the culmination of my Euro trip with two friends. They would be going back to Jamaica the next day and as any good patron of the City of Lights should, we decided to spend our last few hours together drinking wine in front of La Tour d'Eiffel. As we sat reliving the details of our trip and certainly on a high from 14 days spent in 8 cities, a few meters away we suddenly heard the bellowing of Ini Kamoke's Hot Stepper to which we all had the same exact reaction, i.e. scream and spring to our feet to dance. As if that wasn't enough, the singer decided to follow up with Beenie Man's Simma Simma, at which point we pretty much lost it.  I had been to the Eiffel Tower about a hundred times prior to this and had seen many street singers deliver acoustics sets on several occasions but the odds that of all nights, this singer would choose to belt out two of the most renowned reggae hits of all times, at the exact moment that three little Jamaican girls found themselves on the lawns of Trocodero was serendipitous to say the least. I texted my friend to confirm that I had remembered the songs correctly and she readily gave, "Yes, I can never forget that night." 

Beyond the memories, having the right travel partner is also a convenience. It's cost effective since you'll be able to split fees and in the event of emergency there is someone to rely on. Plus, unlike solo travel you won’t have to keep asking random strangers to take your photo and pose while in the throes of paranoia, worrying that they’ll run off with your cellphone if they say yes. 

Having taken a few trips with several different individuals, I will say, choose your companion(s) carefully. In Jamaica, there is a saying "see me and live wid me a two different tings," which essentially means, spending a few hours with a person is not a true indication of what it's like to cohabit with them. Of course, there are very telling signs based on your interactions that you can use to deduce whether or not you want to travel across the ocean with this person. You'll want to pay close attention to the admirable traits or the otherwise red flags because, trust me, you wont want to be a few thousand miles away from home only to realize your travel bud is actually a latent psychopath.

So, here are a few things to consider when evaluating whether a person will be a good fit for your trip:

1. The Objective 
What is the main purpose of the trip? Being very clear about this will help you to choose the most appropriate companion. For example, if you’re planning to be adventurous, explore many places and walk a great deal you know not to choose someone who prefers to relax or wants a shopping trip. Setting expectations ahead of time is essential to a successful travel experience. That way, you wont have any unnecessary stress because the person has one agenda for the trip while you have completely different intentions. 

2. Compatibility 
I remember in Shoe Dog, Phil Knight's memoir, where he relayed how he chose a travel partner saying his friend was "easy to talk to and easy not to talk to, equally important qualities in a friend, especially a travel companion." Like Phil, you'll need to assess whether your choice person is agreeable. Say for example, you're a person who likes your alone time, then it means you should probably stay clear of anyone with monophonic tendencies. It’s always better to have someone that complements you. Beyond personal space, this will become even more important when deciding on a budget. Seemingly simple things such as food or accommodation can cause a big fall out if you’re not on the same page, so be mindful of this. 

3. Reliability 
You will need someone you can always count on. Who do you know that will show up on time so you wont miss a train, pay their portion of the bill and make good on whatever arrangements you've both decided on? That's the person you should be traveling with. Also, anything can happen and you want to know that if you run into any trouble, this person can be trusted to be there for you when you need them most. Traveling with someone selfish or self-centred will be a disaster. Whoever you choose, you should be able to comfortably share responsibilities with them. 

4. Flexibility 
I like the idea of planning ahead and I highly encourage it. The thing with traveling however is things definitely won’t always go as you’ve imagined so you need to have someone who is understanding and won’t complain every time something changes. The worst thing you can have on a trip is a whiner. Traveling will present lots of new and unexpected experiences and it’s better to have someone who is curious and open to rolling with the punches if and when they come.

5. The Ying To Your Yang 
This is more than just being compatible, it's finding a person who balances you out and will be able to pick up your slack in the areas that you're not so strong at. I, for example, am good at planning a trip but don't ask me to use Google Maps when we get there! I know it's supposed to be straight forward but there are some of us who just can't find our bearings so easily. It might seem simple but traveling with someone who is better coordinated and can easily take directions actually make a difference for me. Essentially, what I'm saying here is, where ever it is that you find yourself lacking, your travel partner should be killing it in that department, ideally. 

Traveling can make or break a relationship. Speaking from experience, do not travel with someone who will make you regret leaving home. Traveling should, for the most part, be a wonderful experience so protect your space. Ask questions, be vocal about your preferences and if possible, do a dry run by taking a day trip locally to see how well you'll fare with the person. Who you go with will make all the difference, regardless of your destination so choose wisely. I really can't stress it enough.



until next time......
Do Good, Dress Well
xTAR 


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Hello my little Xtarz! Living in the tropics means you don't actually have to transition your closet between seasons which is great economically but can be an absolute bore, honestly. One of the best things about fashion is being able to explore your style and create new aesthetics but for the typical islander, it's hard not to get stuck in a rut of the same ol' easy breezy resort ready vibe. And since boots and a trench aren't exactly suitable for this (seemingly) never-ending heat, we'll have to get a little more creative and practical with how we "switch it up" after the summer season. 

In today's post, I'm sharing an outfit inspired by 2018 fall/ winter fashion with four key elements that are acclimatized but will ensure you're on trend and chic throughout the "new" season.


1. Statement Jewelry: Since summers are hella warm, I prefer very lightweight pieces that will add a little charm but won't bug me too much. With this new season, I'm all about turning up the chunks and selecting more elaborate - stand out earrings and necklaces. My very favourite piece right now is this pair of oversized vintage earrings from Zara. Chunky gold earrings are super trendy this season so if you haven't added a pair (or two) to your jewellery box as yet, now is the time!

2. Darker Hues: I'm not a big fan of bright colours and I rarely wear them (never mind my top lol),  but especially during the last quarter of the year I'm all about a richer palette. I do have to stop myself from wearing too much black sometimes but for the most part, I'm a sucker for Earth tones and Jewel tone everything!

3. Fancy Fabric: Think velvet, corduroy, silk, satin or anything your grandma would use to upholster her couch or drape her curtains. There is something about the vintage appeal of these types of fabric and how they can make almost anything look luxe when done properly. For this look, I added a pair of Stradivarius velvet shoes in a jewel tone yellow which is also a personal favourite. It's fairly easy to incorporate any of these fabrics into your wardrobe just don't get too carried away. Keep it simple and minimalist for safe measure.

4. Shimmer: Truly, no outfit during the fall/winter season is complete without a little glam. This is the time of year to break out the glitter, sequins and metallics. For this look, in particular, I have a subtle hint of shimmer on the heel of my shoes which elevates the look without overdoing it. I prefer doing light shimmer through my accessories or trimming but if you're a disco ball kinda gal, by all means, shine bright like a diamond baby girl. 



I get more excited about my outfits this time of year than I do in the summer so I'm looking forward to sharing a few more looks with you later on. What new trends are you aching to incorporate in your closet this season? Leave a comment to let me know! 

until next time......
Do Good, Dress Well

xTAR 

Photography by: Steven Smith
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We often hear talks about "fraudy" feelings. The ones you get when you decide to do something but in the doing your inner Negative Nancy starts to trigger the "I'm not qualified enough" or the "I'm not good enough" thoughts. At some point, we've all been there. And it sucks! But, there is an even more unpleasant fraudulent feeling that I want to address today, the ones that surface in the absence of the doing.

A few weeks ago during a conversation with my coach, Judz,  I stated that "I'm a blogger but I don't blog." Instantly, I realize how ridiculous this sounded. Is a person a driver without actually getting behind the wheel or a football player same, without actually hitting the field? Now, I know you might be thinking, "but you do have a blog." Here's the thing, at the very least our actions need to qualify our ownership of a craft, meaning if we make claim to carpentry then we need to frequently be shaping, building or whatever carpenters do with wood. And so based on my inconsistency and haphazard posting, I didn't feel as though I had earned enough stripes to claim blogging. Hence, the feelings of being a fraud.

Now, growing up I changed my dream career a few times; from ballerina or dancing back up for Chris Brown to becoming an entertainment lawyer to being a fashion marketer/merchandiser and then there is today's ambition of becoming a writer and travel blogger. What I'm trying to say is, I've never actually committed to anything before so I've never had to hold myself accountable to do anything at all. In spite of this, there was always strong desire or longing that I believe Phil Knight, founder of Nike, in his memoir Shoe Dog explained perfectly when he said:

"I had an aching sense that our time is short, shorter than we ever know, short as a morning run and I wanted mine to be meaningful. And purposeful. And creative. And important. Above all ...different. I wanted to leave a mark on the world. I wanted to win. No, that's not right. I simply didn't want to lose."

It might have taken me some time to realise but I now know for sure that writing is the medium through which I was ordained to leave a mark on this world. The dissonance, however, comes from Knight's other very famous words, "JUST DO IT."

Writing and by extension, blogging can be challenging at times. I love words but they don't always come easily and since everything I share represents me the likelihood of publishing something half-assed or not as close to my idea of perfect, simply won't happen. CUE THE OVERTHINKING. And then there is the fuss for imagery. Photoshoots when you suffer from acne and chronic awkwardness is usually a recipe for anxieties. Also, not always having a photographer at hand and asking your well-meaning but aesthetically challenged friends to use your iPhone to snap a few shots can be exhausting after the 100th try. The point is, there are some days I am completely discouraged and in Jamaican creole: Me cyaw bodda! (I can't be bothered).

Still, I can't shake this blogger bug. I remember listening to Gary Vaynerchuk rant about committing to the process and not the end game. He explained that no matter what we decide to do in life we must identify the pains that are associated with that decision as opposed to the gains. It is the pains that we are willing to live with that will determine what we reap. What I understood from this was that the things that made me uncomfortable/ annoyed/ demoralized about blogging were the very things that would give me the life I crave. Essentially, I have two choices: either do the thing or don't, i.e either commit to the pain of the process or the pain of future regret.

If you've ever read Paulo Coelho's Alchemist, it means becoming the baker or Santiago. Like Santiago, we can listen to our calling and pursue our dream unwaveringly. This might mean trekking the path less travelled and opening our world to vulnerability. But, we'll get to discover our strengths, develop new skills, build our resilience, experience a little magic, live our truth and later gain the treasures (and happiness) that life had been leading us towards.

Alternatively, we can stay exactly where we are now, in our comfort zone, dream but do nothing about it while playing it safe and committing to ease. How about taking no risks and absolutely ignore divinity because the unknown is scary and you need security, right? WRONG. As Coelho's anecdote of the baker exacts: the cookie cutter life is the most unfulfilled, even for a baker. (Please read this book! It's short, easy to read and filled with life lessons.)

With that said, I wrote this so you can know, I'm here to obey my calling aka commit to the process of being a writer and you're more than welcome to tag along on this journey. Also, I know there are a lot of people out there just like me, maybe even you,  making excuses about why they aren't doing their thing. Beg you, claim that craft. You're doing yourself and the world a great disservice by hiding your talents. As Luvvie Ajayi said in her TED talk about a completely unrelated topic:

"Comfort is overrated. Keeping things the way they've been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo. So we've got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."

Now, go forth and do the damn thing!

until next time......
Do Good, Dress Well

xTAR 

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It's been a while since I've last posted an outfit on the blog so I wanted to share a trend that I've really been into lately: Monochrome colour-blocking, i.e colour-blocking with shades/hues of the same colour, por ejemplo: Pink & Red.
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